Vicki, I just want you to know that I don't think anything in life is by accident, and I never wanted you to feel like a burden to me.  I was only nine years old when you were birthed as my youngest sister..you were the the first baby in my life.  In later years, I was more like a second mother to you.

We all have special talents and gifts with which to share with others.  Mine seems to have been compassion and determination to help others less fortunate.  I believe that Barry and I were placed in your life to be there for you in your desperate and deserted times.

I know that the core of who we are (soul) never dies, and reincarnation sometimes seems the only explanation for life's apparent injustices and unfairness.  I believe we all come here for specific reasons.  Over the last few years, with your severe suffering from various illnesses and associated conditions, I often wondered what purpose you were serving this lifetime.  In my anger and frustration at watching you suffer, I had lots of questions and conversations with God - I talked...He heard...He responded...I felt.  Thankfully, if we listen long enough profound truths emerge.

In spite of your life outwardly appearing to be filled with sorrow and pain and very few blessings, your example was a powerful one.  It took me a long time to understand such a victim existence, but I think I have.  If listening with an open and spiritual heart, most things eventually become clear.

Only last year did I hear the term "victim soul" in a book by Wayne Dyer - "A Promise Is A Promise".  This term refers to a very selfless soul who supposedly decided to take on a lifetime of sacrifice in order to teach the world about some of life's truths.  If this is true, I think you were such a soul, and I feel honored that I was part of the plan.

During most of your life, I thought of you as a very passive and weak person.  However, you were a puzzle...on one hand being passive and submissive, yet during your agonizing painful years, you showed a strength and fortitude rarely witnessed.  You proved just how powerful mind and spirit collectively can be and what they can produce.

Those who witnessed my generosity of time and compassion for you, extended countless words of praise.  They, and I, thought I was teaching and guiding you, and in some ways I was.  But the most profound teachings and lessons learned were in reverse..you taught me.

I learned through observing you, not to judge by outward appearances.  You taught me the power of "hope for life" or "fear of death"...it doesn't matter which one..the results of the power are the same.  You taught me the power of fear and it's devastating results.  You taught me that in spite of many years of pain and suffering (physically and emotionally), one may still remain hopeful...and you did until your last breath.  You taught me what sounds like fretting or complaining is merely reaching out to test other hearts to see if there's any compassion or patience left.

I believe that our only true purpose in life is to love and be of service to others.  I, therefore, thank you and God for allowing me that priceless opportunity through your short years on this earth.

As promised, Barry and I were holding your hands when you "crossed over".  Although I wanted you liberated from your indescribable misery, I hated to relinquish your physical presence from my life.  I had to keep in mind that nothing can destroy what God creates...matter merely changes form.  The body is nothing more than a discardable vehicle that we use to browse through time.  Like a caterpillar transforms to a butterfly, I'm grateful that you were able to finally release your burdensome and disease-ridden shell and soar with a rediscovered freedom.  Until we meet again, enjoy your flight and remember that you're loved and missed very much by so many.